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So You Want to Date a Single Mom; No Wimps Need Apply

I was talking to a young man about the problems he was experiencing dating a single mom; after some thought I put together this list and I think I’ll give it to him.   Any other suggestions you want to add?

  • We already have a child we don’t need another one
  • We are usually tired – we work – we cook – we take the kids to soccer games so if we don’t call right back or forget to call and we know you’re gonna have an attitude, we would rather pick up a good book and read  
  • If I call or text you during the work day; I really need to hear your smile; make me laugh
  • If I tell you I have had a bad day, telling you about it only makes me re-live the experience and it takes to much energy to go into all the details; make me laugh and relax first, maybe then I can talk about it
  • We have to make decisions at home and at work by our self– we are not looking to make the simplest decisions; like where should we go to dinner; we are looking for someone to make sound decisions when it comes to us as a couple
  • Send me stress-free texts during the day that will make me smile knowing you are thinking about me – they can be simply sexual but not vulgar; I may be in a meeting and can’t respond but it will make me feel good and I will be smiling all day
  • We don’t want to see you spend a lot of money on us foolishly; we are generally thinking about how many groceries we could buy with that money if you had given it to us instead
  • If you are simply looking for sex I am probably not the one –  Unless it comes completely hassle free and late in the night when the kids are sleep and you are gone before morning – Taking all evidence of your being there with you
  • You have to bring laughter not craziness to me
  • Don’t ask to meet my children, my ex, my family or friends; let me decide where and when after I experience the real you
  • You cannot be the most important person in my life even if I wanted you to
  • Don’t let me see you be cruel to animals because that might mean you will be cruel to my kids
  • Don’t tell me about your problems unless or until you have the solution already in mind or it’s after the fact and you can tell me how you solved the problem.
  • Your needs in my life are probably third or fourth on my lists of priorities
  • Dating me is not going to be the same as dating a single woman so don’t expect it to be
  • Understand that I am both Mommy and Daddy to my kids and I may not be able to come out of character when you come around
  • More than sex, we need to be held and/or hugged
  • We do need to hear that we are beautiful
  • We do need to hear relevant compliments
  • We always need money – we don’t like to ask – we won’t ask cause how come you don’t know that
  • If we do let you in our house and feed you, bring groceries or leave some money
  • If you see something that’s broken fix it.  Don’t ask me just do it.
  • Keep an eye on my car; make sure it’s clean and safe for me and the kids (without me asking)
  • I’m delicate so leave your critic of me at the door
  • My house may not always be in order but it will be clean, do you know the difference?
  • It’s gonna take a lot of time and you’re gonna need to be patient with me –
  • Don’t criticize my children; let me do that. However if I ask for advice please please please think carefully before you provide it.  I need to know that your observations about them are on point
  • Don’t compare my parenting skills with your mother’s or your ex’s
  • Never put me in a position to choose between my children and you.  You lose
  • As often as you can and in as many ways you can, let me know you are in it for the long haul  –  the rewards will be worth the wait.
  • Most importantly, Do show me that you have a reverential knowledge of the God that I serve; The Lord Jesus Christ.  Do show me that you have a personal relationship with Him.  In so doing, I can be assured that my prayers for a “good and godly man” have been answered. 
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One response to “So You Want to Date a Single Mom; No Wimps Need Apply

  1. Pingback: So You Want to Date a Single Mom; No Wimps Need Apply | Notes to My Daughter

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