That I Might Have Life

I know a woman, who suffered unspeakable brutality,

in a time when women were but chattel,

at the hands of one who took an oath before God to love, protect and cherish her.

I know a woman, who suffered in silence,

Momma 3 LR

the indignities caused by a philandering husband

who chose to flaunt rather than hide his indiscretions with different women,

I know a woman who raised five children

all alone

on an income of less than $7000 a year.

I know a woman, who worked three jobs at a time,

who slept on the front porch so her boys and girls could have the two bedrooms.

I know a woman who had a heart large enough to embrace

two more motherless children

when she did not know how she was going to feed her own.

How many of your dreams died daily?

How did you endure the loneliness when it came late at night?

How many times was your hope scattered as disappointment came?

How many prayers did you offer up that seemingly went unanswered?

Where was your peace?

Where was your piece of the American Dream?

I cannot count the cost of my high school graduation party

or my prom dress.

How many shirts and pants did you have to iron?

How many tubes of lipstick did you sell?

How many bottoms did you have to wipe?

For me.

For me.

How do I begin to count the cost of your sacrifice

that I might have life?

How do I begin to say thank you?

Will words do?

For you.

For you.

Momma 2 LR

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So You Want to Date a Single Mom; No Wimps Need Apply

I was talking to a young man about the problems he was experiencing dating a single mom; after some thought I put together this list and I think I’ll give it to him.   Any other suggestions you want to add?

  • We already have a child we don’t need another one
  • We are usually tired – we work – we cook – we take the kids to soccer games so if we don’t call right back or forget to call and we know you’re gonna have an attitude, we would rather pick up a good book and read  
  • If I call or text you during the work day; I really need to hear your smile; make me laugh
  • If I tell you I have had a bad day, telling you about it only makes me re-live the experience and it takes to much energy to go into all the details; make me laugh and relax first, maybe then I can talk about it
  • We have to make decisions at home and at work by our self– we are not looking to make the simplest decisions; like where should we go to dinner; we are looking for someone to make sound decisions when it comes to us as a couple
  • Send me stress-free texts during the day that will make me smile knowing you are thinking about me – they can be simply sexual but not vulgar; I may be in a meeting and can’t respond but it will make me feel good and I will be smiling all day
  • We don’t want to see you spend a lot of money on us foolishly; we are generally thinking about how many groceries we could buy with that money if you had given it to us instead
  • If you are simply looking for sex I am probably not the one –  Unless it comes completely hassle free and late in the night when the kids are sleep and you are gone before morning – Taking all evidence of your being there with you
  • You have to bring laughter not craziness to me
  • Don’t ask to meet my children, my ex, my family or friends; let me decide where and when after I experience the real you
  • You cannot be the most important person in my life even if I wanted you to
  • Don’t let me see you be cruel to animals because that might mean you will be cruel to my kids
  • Don’t tell me about your problems unless or until you have the solution already in mind or it’s after the fact and you can tell me how you solved the problem.
  • Your needs in my life are probably third or fourth on my lists of priorities
  • Dating me is not going to be the same as dating a single woman so don’t expect it to be
  • Understand that I am both Mommy and Daddy to my kids and I may not be able to come out of character when you come around
  • More than sex, we need to be held and/or hugged
  • We do need to hear that we are beautiful
  • We do need to hear relevant compliments
  • We always need money – we don’t like to ask – we won’t ask cause how come you don’t know that
  • If we do let you in our house and feed you, bring groceries or leave some money
  • If you see something that’s broken fix it.  Don’t ask me just do it.
  • Keep an eye on my car; make sure it’s clean and safe for me and the kids (without me asking)
  • I’m delicate so leave your critic of me at the door
  • My house may not always be in order but it will be clean, do you know the difference?
  • It’s gonna take a lot of time and you’re gonna need to be patient with me –
  • Don’t criticize my children; let me do that. However if I ask for advice please please please think carefully before you provide it.  I need to know that your observations about them are on point
  • Don’t compare my parenting skills with your mother’s or your ex’s
  • Never put me in a position to choose between my children and you.  You lose
  • As often as you can and in as many ways you can, let me know you are in it for the long haul  –  the rewards will be worth the wait.
  • Most importantly, Do show me that you have a reverential knowledge of the God that I serve; The Lord Jesus Christ.  Do show me that you have a personal relationship with Him.  In so doing, I can be assured that my prayers for a “good and godly man” have been answered.